This Night Was Reeaally Bizarre! (How Bizarre Was It?)

Exhibit A: VH1 showed the movie “Tommy,” based on the album by The Who (us oldsters already know this; this is for the kiddos who might know who The Who is (no, don’t start that up, either)). To say this movie is deranged is paying it a compliment. This is the proverbial train-wreck; it’s so bad, you can’t NOT watch it. How did these people have careers after this (Ann-Margaret, Eric Clapton, Tina Turner.... The Who)? Nathan wandered in during Tina Turner’s performance as the Acid Queen.... he’s now scarred for life. He said, “What the heck” but it sure sounded like he said something else, for which I really can’t blame him. Y’know, I’ve never taken any illegal drugs or any other kind of hallucogenic; after watching this movie, I no longer need to.

Exhibit B: My sister is dating a guy with a pretty sizable collection of records. When I found out that he was moving and was going to be putting a lot of his stuff in storage, I generously offered to “store” the records at my house. I figure, even if only 30-40% of the records are good, it’ll be worth it. Well...... I spent tonight boxing them up. (I should make it clear right here that these records actually belonged to the boyfriend’s dad, so I don’t blame him for the selection. There are also some real gems in here, too. Of particular delight is this record called “Welcome to the LBJ Ranch,” where these guys took actual interviews of major political figures of the 60’s (Eisenhower, Bobby Kennedy, Mr. & Mrs. LBJ, Nixon, etc) and made up new questions resulting in the answers sounding funnier than originally intended. There’s also this lovely record called “No String (with Strings),” which is a score for a Richard Rodgers Broadway play from sometime in the 60’s. It’s definitely a product of its time, but I love that kind of music.) There are still a few others I haven’t gotten to yet, but the questions remain: how many Anne Murray records does one need? How many Olivia Newton-John records does one need? Does ANYONE need TWO copies of Gordon Lightfoot’s “Gord’s Gold?” Or two copies of "Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits?" Or two copies of that “Nadia’s Theme” record, which has by far *the* creepiest record cover ever printed? I mean, I felt like I was doing inventory at Half-Price Books with all the Herb Alpert records, Helen Reddy records, Glen Campbell records, BS&T records, etc.

Exhibit C: Favorite game show of all-time is Match Game and I’ve been so happy that Game Show Network has been showing reruns of it lately. Now I can finally understand all those double-entendres I didn’t get when I watched the show as a little kid. But that’s not the bizarre part. No, the bizarre part, the thing that still makes me break into convulsions just thinking about it, the one thing that made me laugh so hard my mouth went dry, my sides ached, tears streamed down my face, my nose was running..... you’ve probably already seen it in my status but it’s worth repeating here: the ShakeWeight. Now, there is no way I can accurately describe this thing without making it sound like.... well, basically a sex toy disguised as a physical fitness product. The more this commercial went on, the more I howled simply because I couldn’t believe I was seeing this on commercial TV. Out of respect for the younger audience (who’ve probably already seen the commercial anyway), I’m not going to post the link to the website or any YouTube videos. If you’re that curious, you know where to look, but be forewarned: if you try not to laugh, you might seriously injure yourself! I can honestly say I have *never* laughed so hard in my life, and those of you who see me on a regular basis know: I laugh a lot. This one had me going for a solid half-hour before I got my composure (or what’s left of it) back in place.

I hope your night was slightly more normal than mine!

Love to all.

Mr. Owl