Facebook is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad with a capital B bad. As if I don't have enough distractions in my life. I should've gone to bed over an hour ago, but I've been busy visiting "friends" pages, looking up old classmates, taking various quizzes, and generally wasting time. Just wondering: at what point did we as a society decide that we needed to broadcast every waking moment to the general public? I'm not asking as a critic, but as someone who can very easily get swept up in the moment of thinking the world really gives a rat's you-know-what about my every waking moment.
Now, to quote Bill Cosby, I told you that story to tell you this. On one of my friend's page, he mentions that he hates "politics and religion." In one discussion awhile back, he told me he was an agnostic (and given his situation right now, that's actually a positive statement; I'm suprised he's not an outright atheist, but then I'm no expert on levels of belief/unbelief). Honestly, I always feel sad whenever I hear someone say that they are an agnostic, an atheist, don't need church, don't need religion, etc. The only way I can describe the sadness would be like someone telling me my dad didn't exist, or that I don't need my dad; another way of describing it is watching someone give a gift to someone else, only to have that gift either rejected outright, or motives questioned, or..... running out of words here.
Up front: I've been blessed in that, for the most part, my religious experiences have been good, or at the very least, nothing has ever happened that made me doubt the presence of God. I've also been of the opinion that God is good and that He uses everything to His advantage. That's not to say I've never been angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, or generally apathetic to Him. Nor do I believe that all the bad stuff that happens is "part of His plan" (I hate it when people say that. Like God planned on the awful shootings that happened this week. That sound you heard was my BS meter going through the roof)
I guess it's my job, as someone who claims to follow Christ, to show others (especially my friend)that religion isn't the same thing as faith. Religion is taught, faith is learned. Religion is of the brain, faith is of the heart. Religion tries to make sense out of everything, faith accepts that nothing makes sense except God and even HE doesn't make sense to us. (I'd like to think that believers and non-believers can agree on that last point)
In the next post, I'll explain why, despite the fact I believe that "organized religion" is a misnomer, I still need church. And hopefully, if you don't believe you need church, maybe a light will go on in your heart. Or at the very least, a spark will have been lit.
In Him and around the corner (and resisting the urge to check out Facebook one more time before going to bed),
Al
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Music-making
Can't believe I left out one of THE highlights of the last two weeks and of the entire 39th-birth-day-it's-REALLY-all-about-ME weekend: I got to make music with my next-door neighbor Mark. We spent an entire Sunday afternoon at his house just running through old hymns, songs he's written, and other assorted jams (for anyone who likes Blue Note jazz, we trampled through Grant Green's version of "Joshua Fit de Battle of Jericho" from Feelin' the Spirit, as spiritual a jazz record or any record for that matter. What was so cool was that we played it pretty close to the record, despite the fact that Mark had never heard this particular version!!!)
We rocked out on "I Love to Tell the Story" (probably my favorite hymn) and other tunes from the old Lutheran "green book;" "Holy Holy Lord" and "You Are So Wonderful," both written by Mark and available as free downloads at his website www.markandrewpope.com, and both of them a bunch of fun to play! We also listened to other songs and then his son (who's 20 months old) came in and did some "guest vocals" (i.e. he sat on daddy's lap, babbled into the microphone, and laughed the kind of laugh only a toddler can do, the kind that us grown-ups wonder why/how we ever forgot to laugh like that) which made me wish I'd had my camera going.
Talk about making a joyful noise unto the Lord! Here's hoping there will be more opportunities to do so. So, thank you Lord for the gift of music and for Mark, someone with whom you allow me to share that gift.
In Him and around the corner (and still feelin' the spirit),
Al
We rocked out on "I Love to Tell the Story" (probably my favorite hymn) and other tunes from the old Lutheran "green book;" "Holy Holy Lord" and "You Are So Wonderful," both written by Mark and available as free downloads at his website www.markandrewpope.com, and both of them a bunch of fun to play! We also listened to other songs and then his son (who's 20 months old) came in and did some "guest vocals" (i.e. he sat on daddy's lap, babbled into the microphone, and laughed the kind of laugh only a toddler can do, the kind that us grown-ups wonder why/how we ever forgot to laugh like that) which made me wish I'd had my camera going.
Talk about making a joyful noise unto the Lord! Here's hoping there will be more opportunities to do so. So, thank you Lord for the gift of music and for Mark, someone with whom you allow me to share that gift.
In Him and around the corner (and still feelin' the spirit),
Al
Monday, March 9, 2009
Emphasize THIS
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge (Psalm 51:4).
The same passage with one word highlighted:
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge
Now, that's the way we normally read it: that we would find out that God is a just and loving God. However, in my four-hour-sleep-deprived state this morning, I inadvertently emphasized a different word:
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge
God speaks, and I am found. God speaks, and He finds me. Or you. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Lord, please speak to me and find me. Not on my terms, but on yours.
In Him and around the corner (and out in the open),
Al
PS: The ducks are back!!! Folks in my neighborhood might know who I'm talking about. There's these two ducks, a mallard and.... a brown one. Last spring, they walked all over the neighborhood, like an old couple out for an evening stroll. For some reason, they loved our street and were constantly camping out in front of our neighbor's houses and sometimes my house. I guess this is how we tell when spring has returned around here!
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge (Psalm 51:4).
The same passage with one word highlighted:
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge
Now, that's the way we normally read it: that we would find out that God is a just and loving God. However, in my four-hour-sleep-deprived state this morning, I inadvertently emphasized a different word:
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge
God speaks, and I am found. God speaks, and He finds me. Or you. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Lord, please speak to me and find me. Not on my terms, but on yours.
In Him and around the corner (and out in the open),
Al
PS: The ducks are back!!! Folks in my neighborhood might know who I'm talking about. There's these two ducks, a mallard and.... a brown one. Last spring, they walked all over the neighborhood, like an old couple out for an evening stroll. For some reason, they loved our street and were constantly camping out in front of our neighbor's houses and sometimes my house. I guess this is how we tell when spring has returned around here!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Two weeks notice
Hope you got your coffee (or whatever caffeinated beverage) ready, this one's a long one.
In between the last time I wrote and this time, the following took place:
-Became an official WARM Place Facilitator and learned another lesson about God's will versus my own. I wanted to be placed in a group for kids grieving the death of a parent or sibling. Instead, I got assigned to a group for kids grieving the death of a grandparent and/or other extended family members. At first I was disappointed; this wasn't what I wanted. Then, in not so many blunt terms, God had a way of saying, "So I should assign those other folks in your class (you know, the ones who have ACTUALLY LOST A PARENT OR SIBLING) to the 'grandparent group,' so you can work with kids who've lost parents or siblings (despite the fact that you have lost NEITHER, but you HAVE lost your grandparents, one of whom you were extremely close to). Yeah, explain THAT one to me." I don't always understand how/why God works, but I do appreciate his bluntness.
-Turned 39 and had THE best birthday party ever. It caused me to think of a variation on the Ash Wednesday proclamation: "Remember that you are loved, and to Love you shall return." I hope all of you will carry that in your heart as well.
-While turning 39 isn't such a big deal (the first of many, I hope), it did cause me to reflect on the past 20 years. My daughter is 22; she is now the age I was when I asked her mother to marry me. Even THAT one caught Cyndy by surprise. Some cousins of mine will have been married for 20 years this June. We had a family reunion in August of '89, and my sister and I played with young cousins who are now in their 20's, maybe married, maybe have kids, who knows? I bought my first bass that summer, and I still have it. The funny thing is, I don't feel any different now than I did 20 years ago. I thank the kids for that; they keep me young. Or, at least, feeling young.
-On the same day I turned 39, a good friend of mine had her baby boy. The mom is maybe a couple years older than me, and the only reason I say that is because she's like the older sibling I never had.
-Learned that cancer had claimed yet another victim this week. I've lost count. I haven't lost heart, though. (Yeah, I know, big deal, yay for me, it's all about me, remember?). Note to self: tell the grandparents about The WARM Place for their grandson. And while I'm at it, keep in your prayers these two girls who lost their mom about a year ago (also to cancer). Their dad is not dealing well with the loss, and has gone completely caveman-ninja on them, borderline abuse. He refuses to let them seek grief counseling. The oldest girl even brags about how she didn't cry at her mom's funeral. The two girls are 14 and 7. I've taught the 7-year-old in Sunday School a couple of times, and she's a wonderful child, so it breaks my heart to hear about her situation.
-Made an appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist to deal with various issues, mostly anger and the fact that I've been taking EVERYTHING personally lately and lashing out at every chance I get. For whatever it's worth (and this is just for future reference, so future AL, when you read this and ask why you thought anyone would give a rat's you-know-what about what kind of drugs you were on, hopefully it will be to see how far you've come), I am on four different meds to combat various anxieties, depression, self-loathing, and other scattered neuroses. I was supposed to seek a therapist when I started back on my meds about three years ago. I have had little to no success with psychiatrists and therapists, but the fact that two different people, completely unrelated and in completely different contexts, asked me the same question ("Where do you go to deal with your anger?") and the fact that even Nathan notices when I'm angry eben though I don't feel angry, finally pushed me to make that call. Again, God's will versus my own, and yet another small revelation of why He sent me to the WARM Place, because it was through the training that I found the doctor I eventually called. Hopefully, this one works. Please pray for me.
-Took Cyndy and Nathan to Austin visit UT and the big open house known as "Explore UT." Had the time of our lives, exploring the campus, checking out the different departments, and then marching with the band from the practice field to the UT tower, where a big group picture was taken which will be posted on the UT website in a couple of days.
-While all that was going on, I was seized by a number of bittersweet moments: realizing that Nathan is five years away from going to UT; remembering how hard it was to move my sister down there; walking through some of the same areas we walked through when we moved her down there and thinking "This is only five years away." Even driving home from Austin today, I had a lump in my throat thinking about Nathan moving out. Five years may seem like a long time, but 13 years sure went by pretty quickly. Heck, for that matter, THIRTY-NINE years went by rather quickly.
My apologies for the big lag between posts. Now that we're up to speed, I can go back to posting the usual nonsense and meanderings.
In Him and around the corner (and convinced that Daylight Savings Time is the work of Satan),
Al
In between the last time I wrote and this time, the following took place:
-Became an official WARM Place Facilitator and learned another lesson about God's will versus my own. I wanted to be placed in a group for kids grieving the death of a parent or sibling. Instead, I got assigned to a group for kids grieving the death of a grandparent and/or other extended family members. At first I was disappointed; this wasn't what I wanted. Then, in not so many blunt terms, God had a way of saying, "So I should assign those other folks in your class (you know, the ones who have ACTUALLY LOST A PARENT OR SIBLING) to the 'grandparent group,' so you can work with kids who've lost parents or siblings (despite the fact that you have lost NEITHER, but you HAVE lost your grandparents, one of whom you were extremely close to). Yeah, explain THAT one to me." I don't always understand how/why God works, but I do appreciate his bluntness.
-Turned 39 and had THE best birthday party ever. It caused me to think of a variation on the Ash Wednesday proclamation: "Remember that you are loved, and to Love you shall return." I hope all of you will carry that in your heart as well.
-While turning 39 isn't such a big deal (the first of many, I hope), it did cause me to reflect on the past 20 years. My daughter is 22; she is now the age I was when I asked her mother to marry me. Even THAT one caught Cyndy by surprise. Some cousins of mine will have been married for 20 years this June. We had a family reunion in August of '89, and my sister and I played with young cousins who are now in their 20's, maybe married, maybe have kids, who knows? I bought my first bass that summer, and I still have it. The funny thing is, I don't feel any different now than I did 20 years ago. I thank the kids for that; they keep me young. Or, at least, feeling young.
-On the same day I turned 39, a good friend of mine had her baby boy. The mom is maybe a couple years older than me, and the only reason I say that is because she's like the older sibling I never had.
-Learned that cancer had claimed yet another victim this week. I've lost count. I haven't lost heart, though. (Yeah, I know, big deal, yay for me, it's all about me, remember?). Note to self: tell the grandparents about The WARM Place for their grandson. And while I'm at it, keep in your prayers these two girls who lost their mom about a year ago (also to cancer). Their dad is not dealing well with the loss, and has gone completely caveman-ninja on them, borderline abuse. He refuses to let them seek grief counseling. The oldest girl even brags about how she didn't cry at her mom's funeral. The two girls are 14 and 7. I've taught the 7-year-old in Sunday School a couple of times, and she's a wonderful child, so it breaks my heart to hear about her situation.
-Made an appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist to deal with various issues, mostly anger and the fact that I've been taking EVERYTHING personally lately and lashing out at every chance I get. For whatever it's worth (and this is just for future reference, so future AL, when you read this and ask why you thought anyone would give a rat's you-know-what about what kind of drugs you were on, hopefully it will be to see how far you've come), I am on four different meds to combat various anxieties, depression, self-loathing, and other scattered neuroses. I was supposed to seek a therapist when I started back on my meds about three years ago. I have had little to no success with psychiatrists and therapists, but the fact that two different people, completely unrelated and in completely different contexts, asked me the same question ("Where do you go to deal with your anger?") and the fact that even Nathan notices when I'm angry eben though I don't feel angry, finally pushed me to make that call. Again, God's will versus my own, and yet another small revelation of why He sent me to the WARM Place, because it was through the training that I found the doctor I eventually called. Hopefully, this one works. Please pray for me.
-Took Cyndy and Nathan to Austin visit UT and the big open house known as "Explore UT." Had the time of our lives, exploring the campus, checking out the different departments, and then marching with the band from the practice field to the UT tower, where a big group picture was taken which will be posted on the UT website in a couple of days.
-While all that was going on, I was seized by a number of bittersweet moments: realizing that Nathan is five years away from going to UT; remembering how hard it was to move my sister down there; walking through some of the same areas we walked through when we moved her down there and thinking "This is only five years away." Even driving home from Austin today, I had a lump in my throat thinking about Nathan moving out. Five years may seem like a long time, but 13 years sure went by pretty quickly. Heck, for that matter, THIRTY-NINE years went by rather quickly.
My apologies for the big lag between posts. Now that we're up to speed, I can go back to posting the usual nonsense and meanderings.
In Him and around the corner (and convinced that Daylight Savings Time is the work of Satan),
Al
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Reflections of a friend
The following was written by my friend Mark Pope (here's his website: http://www.markandrewpope.com, where you can read the following and other enlightening and inspirational thoughts; check out his songs and music; and listen to podcasts featuring him and his friend Aron discussing a lot of things that usually make me go "AMEN!"). This spoke to me in ways I thought unfathomable. I'm sharing it with y'all in the hopes that it speaks to you in much the same way. Happy reading!
*************************************
Revision...
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been going back through some old music and revising it and editing it to try to get it out to people. The problem is that I’ve found that the older the song, the harder it is for me to revise. I’ve been looking at music that is maybe 15 years old. I don’t know that it was all that great to begin with, but even as I look at it again after all of these years, I find myself reluctant to change a note or rhythm. There’s something about those tunes, melodies and harmonies that just get ingrained into my head. When I start to revise, I feel like I’m just chopping up ideas and confusing the form, etc... But, the truth is, that at the end of the process, I usually find a better piece of music in place of the old. Also, I find that I’ve been much more conservative in my revision than I thought I was at the time that I was revising. Changes that I thought were HUGE sometimes make very little difference to the overall feel or sound of a piece of music.
But, as I sit and do this day after day, I start to realize that I approach a lot of things in my life like this. There are habits and traits that have been around for a very long time. As far as I’m concerned, they are just on the shelf and part of who I am. But, in times of crisis or when I can feel ol’ Satan creeping in, I have to re-examine who I am. And, I see the old me and realize that I need to revise. Sometimes, I need some serious revision, actually.
So, I set on revising - through prayer and scripture and help from my spouse and friends... and I think that I’m making huge strides. But, sometimes my revisions don’t make a big difference in my overall person. And, unlike my music, when I make self-revisions, those revisions can slowly work their way back to the original. One step forward... ______ steps back. Ever felt that way?
Here’s the lesson that I have to learn over and over and over.... I can rely on scripture, prayer and just about who or whatever else I want to, but God is the Master Revisor. Until I give my life to Him and allow God to be the Editor in Chief of my life, all of my self-help and self-evaluation is like the tiny revisions that I make to some of my old music. It is still my old music - just all polished up. That’s the best I can do for myself. I can take my old self and polish it up. Make it look good on the outside - and feel good, for a short while, on the inside. But only God does complete overhauls.
I just pray that God writes a new symphony with my life. Not to take all of the old material and patch it together differently - but to constantly make me new through Jesus - to continually renew, refresh and strengthen me in His Word.
***************************************************
Amen, brother, and thanks for letting me share it here.
In Him and around the corner (and thanking God for such groovy neighbors),
Al
*************************************
Revision...
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been going back through some old music and revising it and editing it to try to get it out to people. The problem is that I’ve found that the older the song, the harder it is for me to revise. I’ve been looking at music that is maybe 15 years old. I don’t know that it was all that great to begin with, but even as I look at it again after all of these years, I find myself reluctant to change a note or rhythm. There’s something about those tunes, melodies and harmonies that just get ingrained into my head. When I start to revise, I feel like I’m just chopping up ideas and confusing the form, etc... But, the truth is, that at the end of the process, I usually find a better piece of music in place of the old. Also, I find that I’ve been much more conservative in my revision than I thought I was at the time that I was revising. Changes that I thought were HUGE sometimes make very little difference to the overall feel or sound of a piece of music.
But, as I sit and do this day after day, I start to realize that I approach a lot of things in my life like this. There are habits and traits that have been around for a very long time. As far as I’m concerned, they are just on the shelf and part of who I am. But, in times of crisis or when I can feel ol’ Satan creeping in, I have to re-examine who I am. And, I see the old me and realize that I need to revise. Sometimes, I need some serious revision, actually.
So, I set on revising - through prayer and scripture and help from my spouse and friends... and I think that I’m making huge strides. But, sometimes my revisions don’t make a big difference in my overall person. And, unlike my music, when I make self-revisions, those revisions can slowly work their way back to the original. One step forward... ______ steps back. Ever felt that way?
Here’s the lesson that I have to learn over and over and over.... I can rely on scripture, prayer and just about who or whatever else I want to, but God is the Master Revisor. Until I give my life to Him and allow God to be the Editor in Chief of my life, all of my self-help and self-evaluation is like the tiny revisions that I make to some of my old music. It is still my old music - just all polished up. That’s the best I can do for myself. I can take my old self and polish it up. Make it look good on the outside - and feel good, for a short while, on the inside. But only God does complete overhauls.
I just pray that God writes a new symphony with my life. Not to take all of the old material and patch it together differently - but to constantly make me new through Jesus - to continually renew, refresh and strengthen me in His Word.
***************************************************
Amen, brother, and thanks for letting me share it here.
In Him and around the corner (and thanking God for such groovy neighbors),
Al
Monday, February 23, 2009
On companionship...
This past Sunday was Transfiguration Sunday. The Gospel reading was from the ninth chapter of Mark, where Jesus takes Peter, James, & John up a mountain and is transfigured before their eyes.
Ever wonder why Jesus took these particular disciples with Him? Times like this make me wish the Bible had recorded the conversations that took place during this walk up and down the mountain:
"Hey guys, y'wanna go for a walk with me?"
"Sure, why not!"
And off they go. I wonder if Jesus told them to get ready to see something spectacular. You gotta figure it was a pretty long walk; wonder what they talked about? Of course, being guys, they might not have said anything!
Then, once they're up there, how long were they up there? A few minutes? A half hour? When Jesus was transfigured, and Elijah and Moses showed up, Peter asked if they should build three shelters. Were they running around trying to find tools, supplies, wood, etc? And then they hear the voice of God and it's all over.
And Jesus looks at them and says, "Well, shall we head back?" You can imagine how stunned the disciples looked! And then, to top it all off, Jesus says "Don't mention any of this to anyone when we get back!" HUH??? Who can keep a secret like that? Thankfully, the Bible does indicate that the four of them talked a lot on the way back.
But getting back to my original curiosity: why did Jesus take these guys with him? Certainly not to prove anything to them; they were his closest friends. Perhaps to prepare them for things to come. But I have to wonder if Jesus just wanted someone to go with Him? If you've got a long journey ahead, don't you want some companionship? The road is a lot less lonely when there's more than one.
I like having people around; I love having my friends around. Why wouldn't Jesus also feel the same way?
Thank you Jesus for being my friend and for showing me what a true friend is and how a true friend acts.
In Him and around the corner (and trying to figure out a way to write BEFORE midnight),
Al
Ever wonder why Jesus took these particular disciples with Him? Times like this make me wish the Bible had recorded the conversations that took place during this walk up and down the mountain:
"Hey guys, y'wanna go for a walk with me?"
"Sure, why not!"
And off they go. I wonder if Jesus told them to get ready to see something spectacular. You gotta figure it was a pretty long walk; wonder what they talked about? Of course, being guys, they might not have said anything!
Then, once they're up there, how long were they up there? A few minutes? A half hour? When Jesus was transfigured, and Elijah and Moses showed up, Peter asked if they should build three shelters. Were they running around trying to find tools, supplies, wood, etc? And then they hear the voice of God and it's all over.
And Jesus looks at them and says, "Well, shall we head back?" You can imagine how stunned the disciples looked! And then, to top it all off, Jesus says "Don't mention any of this to anyone when we get back!" HUH??? Who can keep a secret like that? Thankfully, the Bible does indicate that the four of them talked a lot on the way back.
But getting back to my original curiosity: why did Jesus take these guys with him? Certainly not to prove anything to them; they were his closest friends. Perhaps to prepare them for things to come. But I have to wonder if Jesus just wanted someone to go with Him? If you've got a long journey ahead, don't you want some companionship? The road is a lot less lonely when there's more than one.
I like having people around; I love having my friends around. Why wouldn't Jesus also feel the same way?
Thank you Jesus for being my friend and for showing me what a true friend is and how a true friend acts.
In Him and around the corner (and trying to figure out a way to write BEFORE midnight),
Al
Friday, February 20, 2009
Another look in the mirror (it still ain't pretty)
We've lived in this house for over eight years now. We've slowly gotten to know our neighbors over the years, but the sad fact is that some of them have lived here longer than we have and I've only taken the time to get to know them over the last few months.
We have this one lady on our street who is a talker. Sweet, sweet lady. But she's a talker. The first day we were here, I was in a hurry to get Amanda to a volleyball game and Janet came running over to our car to introduce herself. When we were leaving, we had a half-hour before the game started with about a ten minute drive ahead of us. We hardly said a word and we were still fifteen minutes late! Of course, we learned a lot about Janet and the history of the neighborhood that day. Unfortunately, we let that scar us into avoiding her, and over the years, the only time I've talked to her is if she happens to see me. Sure enough, I (or anyone else in my family) woulde be stuck for at least a half-hour, and even then the only way the conversation would end would be for me to say "Bye" at least five times and keep walking.
I apologize for the blunt tone; to try and put any of that nicely would be an insult to Janet and a lie to God and y'all because there was absolutely nothing nice about the way I've acted these last eight years.
However, the Lord gave me a view from the other end of that mirror recently. Lately, I've been a pest to people, and not in the good way I wrote about earlier (meaning when I get together with people, I always end up doing most-if-not-all of the talking, and barely letting anyone else get a word in edgewise). I started thinking about Janet and how I was pretty much getting a taste of my own medicine.
I'm having a neighborhood campfire next Friday night and have all the invitations delivered except one (Jake, I'm gonna get yours to you this weekend, I promise! You guys are definitely invited!). I approached Janet's house with no small amount of trepidation, but I wanted to show God that the lesson He tried to teach me was not in vain.
Sure enough, Janet answered the door and off she went! Let me tell you right now about what a wonderful feeling it was to stand there, listen, maybe say a few words every now and then, and above all to GET OVER MYSELF. I mean, I still had to end the conversation (had to get home, make dinner, get back up to work for a few hours); but not once did I wish I wasn't right there talking/listening (actually, more listening than talking, but then I need that. A LOT!)
God, thank you for being patient with me, for giving me a second chance, and for allowing me to see You in yet another unlikely place. Thank you for forgiving me, because I sure need it for this one and deserve it even less than I usually deserve Your forgiveness (which is to say, not at all).
In Him and around the corner (and all ears),
Al
We have this one lady on our street who is a talker. Sweet, sweet lady. But she's a talker. The first day we were here, I was in a hurry to get Amanda to a volleyball game and Janet came running over to our car to introduce herself. When we were leaving, we had a half-hour before the game started with about a ten minute drive ahead of us. We hardly said a word and we were still fifteen minutes late! Of course, we learned a lot about Janet and the history of the neighborhood that day. Unfortunately, we let that scar us into avoiding her, and over the years, the only time I've talked to her is if she happens to see me. Sure enough, I (or anyone else in my family) woulde be stuck for at least a half-hour, and even then the only way the conversation would end would be for me to say "Bye" at least five times and keep walking.
I apologize for the blunt tone; to try and put any of that nicely would be an insult to Janet and a lie to God and y'all because there was absolutely nothing nice about the way I've acted these last eight years.
However, the Lord gave me a view from the other end of that mirror recently. Lately, I've been a pest to people, and not in the good way I wrote about earlier (meaning when I get together with people, I always end up doing most-if-not-all of the talking, and barely letting anyone else get a word in edgewise). I started thinking about Janet and how I was pretty much getting a taste of my own medicine.
I'm having a neighborhood campfire next Friday night and have all the invitations delivered except one (Jake, I'm gonna get yours to you this weekend, I promise! You guys are definitely invited!). I approached Janet's house with no small amount of trepidation, but I wanted to show God that the lesson He tried to teach me was not in vain.
Sure enough, Janet answered the door and off she went! Let me tell you right now about what a wonderful feeling it was to stand there, listen, maybe say a few words every now and then, and above all to GET OVER MYSELF. I mean, I still had to end the conversation (had to get home, make dinner, get back up to work for a few hours); but not once did I wish I wasn't right there talking/listening (actually, more listening than talking, but then I need that. A LOT!)
God, thank you for being patient with me, for giving me a second chance, and for allowing me to see You in yet another unlikely place. Thank you for forgiving me, because I sure need it for this one and deserve it even less than I usually deserve Your forgiveness (which is to say, not at all).
In Him and around the corner (and all ears),
Al
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