More musings on prayer....

This morning, I laid in bed praying for guidance, strength, and wisdom. Guidance to keep me focused at work because end-of-year is coming up, inventory needs to be counted, books need to be closed; strength to resist the temptation to let myself get distracted by the internet and the desire to go to Half Price Books on my lunch hour when I had other, more pressing things that needed to get done (pay bills, return phone calls, etc); and wisdom to make the right decisions all day today.

The bills didn't get paid. Half Price Books has some more of my money (and I have a few more records). Hardly any work got done.

Did God not hear me?

Of course He did.

The problem was I knew in advance I wasn't really serious about what I was praying for. The sad thing is, God is standing right in front of me, saying "Take my hand and let me guide you." And I say, "Thanks, but my way looks a lot more fun."

It's like sinking in quicksand. Someone offers me a rope to grab to pull me out. But I don't feel so deep yet that I can't get myself out. Except that now I am deep in it. The rope is still there, and I'm just stubborn enough not to grab it. The bad thing is, the further I sink, the harder it will be for me if I ever decide to let God pull me out. It's not that He can't do it; He just won't until I finally hold my hand up! The biggest obstacle to God helping me is..... me. How presumptuous of me to expect God to grab me and pull me out if I won't do my part!

Again, too many people claim that prayer doesn't work because God doesn't pass their test. I'm here to tell you right now: God doesn't have time for games. If you're praying, be serious, or don't even bother. This is what I need to learn. Am I really serious when asking for God's help? Or am I just mouthing words?

Once again, I've written myself into another circle and don't know how to properly end this, so I'll just say, keep praying. That's as much for me as anyone else reading this. Not because I think I'll get through to God, but because at some point I hope to learn how to let God in.

Please keep the following in your prayers: continued prayers for the Kaylor family (check his blog for updates on them); prayers for a family at my church who were involved in a pretty serious auto accident (I have no details, so just pray that it isn't as serious as I heard); I know there are others, but these are the ones immediately springing to mind.

In Him and around the corner (and leaving a Light on),

Al