Out of the cold and into the WARM

Tonight I worked at the WARM Place as a house-parent. (website: http://www.thewarmplace.org) The WARM Place is where families go to get help in coping with the loss of a loved one (that's just the nutshell version, check out the website for all that they do). In a few weeks, I'll be starting Facilitator Training so that I can learn to help families cope with the loss of a loved one.

A House Parent's duties include serving dinner, greeting group members when they arrive, and just getting them prepared for the evening's gatherings. Tonight was one of those "shut up and observe" nights, which means I did more listening and observing than talking (a first!). It was nice meeting the staff. It was sobering greeting the incoming families. More often than not, it wasn't difficult to see who was missing from a family: a mother or a father. Some kids were happy, some were just kinda there; none of them was overly sad or depressed.

Folks, I need prayers for this one. Big time. I've been asked to volunteer here as a Facilitator (i.e. group leader) in the past and have always said no; the events of the past few months have made me reconsider that. I'm used to playing with kids, making them laugh, or teaching them; I've never sat with them and let them grieve. This is truly one situation where I'm closing my eyes and letting God lead me.

I love to tell this story: when my kids were younger (Amanda was 9 and Nathan was still a baby), we would go for walks and Amanda and I would take turns pushing Nathan's stroller. One night, Amanda said "Daddy, take my hand. I'm going to close my eyes and let you guide me." I was taken so aback by what she said. She said "Isn't that how we're supposed to follow God?" So I took her hand, she closed her eyes, and neither one of us said anything for a long time (probably because I would've started crying if I'd opened my mouth). I've always thought that episode was a defining moment in my daughter's faith. I just pray that she allows herself to do that.

My friend Gaylene wrote another inspirational blog late last night (how I wish her writings would be published, they are that good). In it, she expands on Matthew 6:27: "You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it,” by discussing various friends of hers who are dealing with cancer. She writed: "Let us try not to worry, but stay close so they do not walk the journey alone." Y'know what my biggest fear is right now? Getting too close. Getting so close that I become a nuisance, a pest, in the way. I've been guilty of this before; I just don't know when to stop (or if I even should). The whole time before Casey died I often wondered if I was intruding or getting too close or making a nuisance of myself. I hate that feeling, and I know it's seeds of doubt planted by Satan. I am torn by the desire to stay close to those I know who are hurting and a gnawing feeling that I'm smothering these people and not giving them room to breathe. Perhaps I should stop worrying, close my eyes, and let God lead me to help my friends in the way He wants me to help them. And if that means backing off, then I need to not worry that I'm not doing enough.

Y'alls prayers are appreciated. There is a sign at the WARM Place that reads "Whenever a loved one becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure." Please continue to pray for those for whom the memories of their loved ones are an important and eternal treasure.

In Him and around the corner (and looking forward to the day when doubt is no longer a part of my life),
Al