Food for Thought

 

Saw this letter at the Forbes website, and agree with the author’s sentiments enough to want to share it as a gut-check for my conservative Christian friends, particularly the last paragraph, to remind them that God is still in charge (edited for grammar, spelling, and punctuation because I really am that finicky):

“I am an evangelical Christian living in Texas, and what I see happening in America is really a travesty and a rebellion against God, I dare say. I do not agree with many of Obama's policies, but he is the president. The Lord God was not taken by surprise when Obama became president. Indeed, Romans 13:1 says that "there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God." Jesus himself clearly states that "If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." Mark 3:24-25.

America is hopelessly divided with infighting, and if anyone thinks that this division benefits anyone then they are in for the shock that is coming ten to twenty years from now. If the Republicans win the presidency in 2012, the Democrats will fight the Republican president with the same ferocity that the Republicans are fighting the current Democrat president. This cycle is likely to continue until America is utterly ruined. Meanwhile, China, India and Brazil will be forging ahead.

During the presidency of George W. Bush, leading evangelicals always implored Christians to pray for the president. Now they demonize Obama. This means that we really do not believe that the Lord is in control. If we did we would read Proverbs 21:1 "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases" and pray to God to direct the heart of the president to do what is right before the Lord and not before men. We have power in prayer, but we have chosen to fight in the flesh. The flesh cannot win any battle. I dare tell those who are fighting this battle in the flesh: you are bound to lose, and with your loss you shame the name of the Lord Jesus Christ because you did not really believe Him.”

 

Remember folks: we’re supposed to be Christian conservatives/liberals, not conservative/liberal Christians. There IS a difference.

 

Love to all.

 

Mr. Owl

Status Overload

 

Reading other people's statuses, I believe, gives me a very small idea of what it's like to be God:

the ability to see other people's thoughts
and wonder if they realize I'm reading them;

the happiness of other people's joy
and the sadness of other people's sorrows;

the joy of love accepted
and the frustration of love rejected;

the pleasure of having others ask you for help
and the pain of others running as far away from you as possible.

It just makes me that much more thankful that He sticks with us and continues to love us regardless of our opinion or belief (or lack thereof), unconditionally, and without us ever having to ask Him to do so.

I’m even gladder that He doesn't take my approach, which is to log off, say to hell with it all, and stay away for a week or so. Which I think I’ll go back to doing because I’m *not* God.

Thank God.

Love to all.

Mr. Owl

Notes for the Journey revisited

 

Intended for no one but me, but written here in case something here speaks to you.

Keep reaching out. Never stop. The one time you stop will be the one time the other hand was reaching for you.

That voice that keeps second-guessing you? That voice is not of God. Ignore it.

Say hi to as many kids as possible. They've grown up and they think you're a doofus. Be the doofus who said HI to them and don't worry about how they react or if they even react. Do it because you love them and because you've watched many of them grow from little kids in kindergarten to the teenagers they are now.

You will see a lot of people you know over the next four years that you used to be close to, and you need to acknowledge that those relationships have changed. Regardless, when you see them, hug them. Talk to them. The reason you even know these folks is because they reached out to you, they love you, they aren't afraid to let Christ's love flow through them. You shouldn't be afraid, either.

Focus on the people who are happy to see you, and believe that they truly are happy to see you.

Be a pest for God. That's not your decision. If you think someone needs you, chances are you may be right. There's enough loneliness in this world without people living in fear of reaching out to others. And if they reject you, that's not your call either. Let God handle it; He knows a few things about rejection.

Do what you can when you can with the time you have. If that isn't enough for some people, that's not your problem. Let God handle it; He knows a few things about people who are never satisfied.

If the opportunity to be kind presents itself, seize it. Don't let it go by into that netherworld of regret and might've-been. Be the person who stands out in the crowd with your kindness. Don't be just another person, another face in the crowd.

Do something, don't just sit there. If you feel it move inside you to do good or to do something good, very likely God put it there. Don't deny it or Him.

Tomorrow's another day. If the sun doesn't come up tomorrow, it only means God's called it a day and it's time to go Home. Isn't that where you want to go anyway?

Keep doing what you're doing, let God take care of the rest.

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Finally, promise me you'll come back and read this as often as necessary. Jesus loves you, this I know; for the Bible tells me so.

Love to all.

Mr. Owl

This Night Was Reeaally Bizarre! (How Bizarre Was It?)

Exhibit A: VH1 showed the movie “Tommy,” based on the album by The Who (us oldsters already know this; this is for the kiddos who might know who The Who is (no, don’t start that up, either)). To say this movie is deranged is paying it a compliment. This is the proverbial train-wreck; it’s so bad, you can’t NOT watch it. How did these people have careers after this (Ann-Margaret, Eric Clapton, Tina Turner.... The Who)? Nathan wandered in during Tina Turner’s performance as the Acid Queen.... he’s now scarred for life. He said, “What the heck” but it sure sounded like he said something else, for which I really can’t blame him. Y’know, I’ve never taken any illegal drugs or any other kind of hallucogenic; after watching this movie, I no longer need to.

Exhibit B: My sister is dating a guy with a pretty sizable collection of records. When I found out that he was moving and was going to be putting a lot of his stuff in storage, I generously offered to “store” the records at my house. I figure, even if only 30-40% of the records are good, it’ll be worth it. Well...... I spent tonight boxing them up. (I should make it clear right here that these records actually belonged to the boyfriend’s dad, so I don’t blame him for the selection. There are also some real gems in here, too. Of particular delight is this record called “Welcome to the LBJ Ranch,” where these guys took actual interviews of major political figures of the 60’s (Eisenhower, Bobby Kennedy, Mr. & Mrs. LBJ, Nixon, etc) and made up new questions resulting in the answers sounding funnier than originally intended. There’s also this lovely record called “No String (with Strings),” which is a score for a Richard Rodgers Broadway play from sometime in the 60’s. It’s definitely a product of its time, but I love that kind of music.) There are still a few others I haven’t gotten to yet, but the questions remain: how many Anne Murray records does one need? How many Olivia Newton-John records does one need? Does ANYONE need TWO copies of Gordon Lightfoot’s “Gord’s Gold?” Or two copies of "Linda Ronstadt's Greatest Hits?" Or two copies of that “Nadia’s Theme” record, which has by far *the* creepiest record cover ever printed? I mean, I felt like I was doing inventory at Half-Price Books with all the Herb Alpert records, Helen Reddy records, Glen Campbell records, BS&T records, etc.

Exhibit C: Favorite game show of all-time is Match Game and I’ve been so happy that Game Show Network has been showing reruns of it lately. Now I can finally understand all those double-entendres I didn’t get when I watched the show as a little kid. But that’s not the bizarre part. No, the bizarre part, the thing that still makes me break into convulsions just thinking about it, the one thing that made me laugh so hard my mouth went dry, my sides ached, tears streamed down my face, my nose was running..... you’ve probably already seen it in my status but it’s worth repeating here: the ShakeWeight. Now, there is no way I can accurately describe this thing without making it sound like.... well, basically a sex toy disguised as a physical fitness product. The more this commercial went on, the more I howled simply because I couldn’t believe I was seeing this on commercial TV. Out of respect for the younger audience (who’ve probably already seen the commercial anyway), I’m not going to post the link to the website or any YouTube videos. If you’re that curious, you know where to look, but be forewarned: if you try not to laugh, you might seriously injure yourself! I can honestly say I have *never* laughed so hard in my life, and those of you who see me on a regular basis know: I laugh a lot. This one had me going for a solid half-hour before I got my composure (or what’s left of it) back in place.

I hope your night was slightly more normal than mine!

Love to all.

Mr. Owl

Christmas Song of the Day: Friday, December 4

"Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by the Ventures
(from THE VENTURES CHRISTMAS ALBUM)

(Download to listen here: http://www.mediafire.com/?vnnjy0t5dvo)

Yes, it is starting off with the opening riff of the Beatles' "I Feel Fine." The whole album is like this. There's a version of "Sleigh Ride" on this album that starts off with the Ventures signature "Walk Don't Run" riff before kicking it into high gear on the sleigh ride! Imagine that: the world's first mash-up 40 years before mash-ups became popular!

I played this for Nathan this morning on the way to school. I think he liked it. We started making up lyrics:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it, you might say that I feel fine!

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you help on our hard day's night?"

Then how the reindeer loved him, as they shouted out with glee:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, don't you know that she loves you!

Or something like that.....

Anyway, the Ventures are my all-time favorite rock band. They are to me what Metallica is to Nathan: the band from which I learned most of what I know about how to play the bass and the guitar. I've been listening to the Ventures since before I learned how to walk, and I've virtually destroyed every Ventures record my dad had (remember yesterday's comment about being infatuated with spinning records at an early age? These got the majority of the abuse!). Finding this album on CD over ten years ago was such a treat, and I'm glad I snagged it cuz I don't think you can find it anymore. BUT, if you've got a record player and a Half-Price Books (or a Doc's Records!) near you, this can be had fairly cheaply.

Enjoy!

Christmas Song of the Day: Thursday, December 3

"Here We Come a-Caroling" by the New Christy Minstrels

(download to listen: http://www.mediafire.com/?miky3w3lnlq)

My Mom's Christmas albums were always a source of joy when I was growing up, and this song has more than its fair share of memories. (It also has more than its fair share of pops, crackles, surface noise, etc. This is what happens when one gets infatuated with spinning records at a very early age!) Probably the happiest memory involves my daughter Amanda. In 1992, when she was five years old and her mother and I were engaged, we were driving somewhere and listening to Christmas music and this song was on the tape we were listening to. She liked it enough to want to hear it again, and we taught ourselves to sing it while we were driving. The "aaaahhhhhhh" in the middle..... every time I hear that, I hear Amanda singing that!

When I bought a record player (after having been without one for about six years or so), and then when I got it hooked up to my computer, Mom's Christmas records were the first thing I saved to CD (well, that and my Styx records!). Before then, I'd been relying on an old cassette tape of the records which was stretched beyond capacity. You can imagine the joy I felt when these records came caroling outta the car speakers, scratchy sound & all! Plus, this song is a lot of fun to sing along with. Just pick a part, any part!

Enjoy!

Honest Thomas

Thomas gets more grief than he deserves, simply because Jesus used him as the catalyst for saying "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe." It's as if Jesus is anticipating the other disciples saying to Thomas, "Yeah, see? We told you He was back! We told you we saw Him!" I don't want to put words in Jesus mouth, but the underlying thought here is Jesus saying to them, "I don't want to hear anything out of you knuckleheads. If I hadn't chosen to appear before you guys, you'd all be saying the saying the same thing Tom just said to me. Only difference between him and y'all is he's got the backbone to be honest with me." The lesson here is that doubt, in and of itself, is not nearly as poisonous as our dishonesty in dealing with it. I can go on and on about how sure I am of my faith in the risen Savior, but if I don't acknowledge my doubt before Him, then I make a mockery of His sacrifice for me. So, I don't know about y'all, but I believe I'm gonna cut Thomas some slack from here on out.

In Him and around the corner (and still faithful despite my doubt),

Al

That day is done

Note to self: if you are reading this blog and it's after midnight and you're looking for a reason to write.... STOP! Go to sleep! Your days grace has run its course.

Say good night to God and hit the hay! Pick it back up again tomorrow. It'll still be there, only it'll be covered in the newness of the day.

In Him and around the corner (and in constant need of reminding),

Al

Snatched!

And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. (John 10:28)

Except for when I let them snatch me.

How easily I let myself be snatched. It doesn't take much. And then I'm lifted out of Your hand. But I can still see You, so I know You'll keep an eye on me. Right?

And even as I get further away, I can still see You, which means You can still see me. Right? Except that it's getting a little colder the further away from You I get. And now it's getting foggier and the view is getting dimmer. Jesus, I can still see You, and I know that You can still see me.

But now I can barely hear You, and other voices are adding to the already cascading din. Why won't You bring me back? Whatever it is that I let snatch me from Your hand has a powerful grip on me. Well, actually, it's the other way around: I'm holding on for dear life. If I fall now that I'm so high up....

I look and I can barely see You, although I know You see me. Now the flight is becoming bumpy and I'm running into things out here in the darkness. I can't believe I did it again! I can't believe I let myself be snatched from Your hand. Again! I can take some solace in knowing that I'm not the first and won't be the last; Your Word is filled with stories of people who let themselves be snatched from Your hand and yet, every time and without fail, You caught them when they fell back to you.

Guess I oughta let gravity take it's course. And so I fall. Hoping that You will catch me. Yet You always do; why should I doubt that this time will be any different? Because it feels as though I'm taking advantage of Your grace and mercy. Because I can't hide my sin from You. Because I barely trust myself; how can I trust anyone else, even You?

The fall is painful. The same bumps and obstacles that I hit on the way up are there for me to run into again. But as I fall, I see Your face. I see Your outstretched hand. I can hear You again. And one last pinch of shame asks why I continue to leave You on a regular basis, and why after all these years, You continue to catch me?

Thanks and praise be to You, Jesus, that your love is infinite, unending, and patient; that You would love a repeat offender like me enough to catch me every time I let myself be snatched. This is what You mean: no one snatches me from Your hand because You are there to catch us when we fall, when we finally let go and say "Lord, I did it again! Catch me!"

In Him and around the corner (and still going round and round),
Al

I am going round and round....

Okay, this was a God moment. There is no other explanation for what just happened.

I had just finished typing out a long dark night of the soul almost-prayer, using the title of tonight's entry (taken from the Who's "In a Hand or Face" from The Who By Numbers) as my starting point, went to highlight the whole thing for copying elsewhere and it just.... disappeared. Just like a prayer, lifted up to the Lord, out of my hands and into His.

I tried hitting Ctrl-Z to try and bring it back, tried Ctrl-V in hopes it had accidentally been cut/copied. Tried to go back to the auto-saved draft. Nothing.

What do you make of this? Computer glitch? This isn't the first time I've done this process, but it's the first and (so far) only time it's ever evaporated right before my eyes.

It's just a reminder that when I pray, I need to let God take my prayer. I don't know about y'all, but my "amens" rarely signal that I'm ready to let go of what I'm supposed to be giving to God. Oh, what peace I often forfeit; oh, what grief and pain I bear. All because I do not carry everything to God in prayer. I believe He just showed me tonight how it's supposed to be done.

Amen, baby.

In Him and around the corner (and still in awe),

Al

"Increase our faith!"

Luke 17 is a very confusing chapter.

Jesus says you're going to have trouble, but then says it's gonna be a baaaaaad day for the one who brought you trouble.

If you have even the tiniest of faith, you could uproot a mulberry tree..... oops, a little light just went on: it's not you or I that could do that: it's God, working through our faith. But what would be the point? To do so would just be to show off, and God doesn't dig showing off. I think..... ehhh, there's that "I" word again.....

Or maybe it's just to realize that we're no greater than we think we are, but that we're also not as bad...... no, I take it back: we are as bad as we think we are. Probably worse. All I gotta do for proof of that is drive 360 in the morning. Or get behind some inconsiderate galoot in the drive-thru pharmacy line when it's five minutes to closing time and he's just sitting there and all I wanna do is pick up my prescription and go and the last time it was me who was at the front and the pharmacist asked me to move in case anyone else showed up to pick up a prescription but did this turkey move? Noooooooo!

Yep: gonna have trouble.

Lord, I don't understand; please help my misunderstanding, disunderstanding, nonunderstanding, and that I don't let that keep me from staying focused on You.

Lord, help my unbelief. Help me to hear with my heart and not with my ears. Check that out: no wonder I don't comprehend: ear has three letters, heart has five. There's an ear in my heart, but no heart in the ear. Lord, help me to hear with my heart. Lead me in the path of greater understanding.

In Him and around the corner (and hoping I didn't just bring trouble to YOU),

Al

Thinkin' about temptation...

Okay kids, my friend Gaylene posted a doozy tonight. The link is at the end, but I wanted to share with you first the crux of what she wrote and then my comment:

Gaylene writes:

The next to last line of the Lord’s Prayer says, “And lead us not into
temptation.”

I have always wondered about this line in the Lord’s Prayer. I have wondered why God would lead us into temptation. Temptation is walking the other way from where God is. And giving into temptation is falling into the hole of sin. Whether we land in that hole with our eyes wide open and with full knowledge of our actions or if we sort of slip into the hole by accident, we are still in the hole! James 1:13 says, “When people are tempted they should not say, God is tempting me.” God does not tempt us. I don’t think God can be tempted. I think this line of the prayer means, God keep me focused on you and away from the slippery spots and if I do fall, Father pick me up and set me back on the right path again.

I usually fall off the path when I let go of the hand of the Father. The good news is that God is willing to pick us up and help us back on the path once again. When we do slip and fall (and we all do), God is waiting for us. He is waiting to forgive us at the moment we ask for forgiveness and we are back in fellowship with God and holding His hand once again. We can ask for forgiveness and be assured of that forgiveness because of the next line of the prayer; “and deliver us from evil.” We are asking to be delivered from the evil one. Satan has no power over God and so His forgiveness is the gift of His grace and our deliverance from evil. When we are walking the journey there will be twists and turns, slippery places, large gaping holes and choices to make. Choose to keep your hand firmly clasped in the hand of the Father.

To which I responded:

Oh great: now you got ME pondering that line! Now that I think about it, my head's going around in circles. Of course, that could just be my daily meds wearing off.....

Seriously, I guess the only thing I can come up with is..... well, actually, I can't. I've been trying to come up with something, and I keep deleting it because it always comes back to the same conclusion, which you drew and rightly observed in James: God doesn't lead us into temptation. Given that, I'm not sure I even agree with your conclusion, reassuring as it is.

All I do know and can back up with Scripture is that James does indeed say God doesn't tempt us; but it was Jesus who, in Luke and Matthew, included "lead us not into temptation" in His instructions on how and what to pray. Why He would say that is a mystery to me. Again, I can speculate all night but still come to the same fork in the road: does God tempt us? And does it matter if He does? Doesn't He test us to the best of our abilities? Isn't that how we learn?

I don't know either; I'm just throwing questions out there.

http://greetingsfromaustinstreet.blogspot.com/2009/03/happy-st.html

Who says Christians don't know how to think?

In Him and around the corner (and still trying to keep my head from spinning),

Al

Disorganized religion (and writing)

The conversation between me and my daughter centers around her distaste for church of any kind. It hurts at first, but then it finally occurs to me: she's been at the same church her entire life. All she knows is you get up Sunday morning and you go to church. She's also had some people who she thought were friends (and "Christian" ones at that) pass harsh judgement on decisions she's made. So, as far as she's concerned, church is just a building full of hypocrites who put on a good face for about an hour and then go back to being jerks the other six-plus days of the week.

Sadly, I've completely forgotten what that feeling is like because my family changed churches when I was 16. By then, I was sick of my church. The friends that I'd known since we were little kids had turned on me and decided I wasn't cool enough for them, to the point where they were starting to talk down to me. I say this not because it was the reason (or any reason) why we left that church; instead, it's only to say that had we NOT changed churches, I'm 100% certain I'd be in the same situation as my daughter. In fact, when I was her age, I had a lot of anger towards a lot of people and things at church as well.

(Please understand that my daughter is very much a Christian. She has a faith that I only dream about. I have to remind myself that even King David--the man after God's own heart--had his moments of doubt, anger, and frustration at His people)

As cynical as I am about things (and it's all a front, by the way; I only appear cynical because my biggest fear in life is that folks will find out what a gullible naif I really am, and the bitter irony is that I'm probably the only person on the planet who doesn't realize y'all already knew that!), I have to accept a lot of blame for not showing my daughter that church is God's house. In other words, no matter what the BS that goes on inside there, it's still God's house and God is love. Ergo, if you look for it, you will find love in God's house. I don't believe I ever taught her how to look for that kind of love inside the house of God.

Thing is, I need a place to worship God and I need to be around others to do so. I know there are people in the world who claim they don't need that; more power to 'em. (Quick show of hands: how many of you feel like Simon & Garfunkel's "I Am a Rock" is speaking personally to you? Yeah, I know; me too) For those of you who think you don't need church, have you considered the possibility that the church might need you? That's not egotistical or selfish to believe, despite what others might say. Yes, I know God can fulfill His plan whether you or I am at church or not; but it sure makes me feel better knowing I'm helping Him out.

Look, I know churches can be a source of bad memories of awful times. I also know that people can be absolute garbage, even inside God's house. Heck, I witnessed it myself at church this morning, some of the most un-Christian behavior I'd ever seen. But if I let that drive me away from God's house, then the devil wins, the bad guys win, the forces of evil win. Today, anyway.

Lord, help me to show others that Your house is a house of love, and that no matter how hard we try to make it into something other than that, Your love will always prevail.

In Him and around the corner (and hoping others are feeling the love),

Al

Faith and religion...

Facebook is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad with a capital B bad. As if I don't have enough distractions in my life. I should've gone to bed over an hour ago, but I've been busy visiting "friends" pages, looking up old classmates, taking various quizzes, and generally wasting time. Just wondering: at what point did we as a society decide that we needed to broadcast every waking moment to the general public? I'm not asking as a critic, but as someone who can very easily get swept up in the moment of thinking the world really gives a rat's you-know-what about my every waking moment.

Now, to quote Bill Cosby, I told you that story to tell you this. On one of my friend's page, he mentions that he hates "politics and religion." In one discussion awhile back, he told me he was an agnostic (and given his situation right now, that's actually a positive statement; I'm suprised he's not an outright atheist, but then I'm no expert on levels of belief/unbelief). Honestly, I always feel sad whenever I hear someone say that they are an agnostic, an atheist, don't need church, don't need religion, etc. The only way I can describe the sadness would be like someone telling me my dad didn't exist, or that I don't need my dad; another way of describing it is watching someone give a gift to someone else, only to have that gift either rejected outright, or motives questioned, or..... running out of words here.

Up front: I've been blessed in that, for the most part, my religious experiences have been good, or at the very least, nothing has ever happened that made me doubt the presence of God. I've also been of the opinion that God is good and that He uses everything to His advantage. That's not to say I've never been angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, or generally apathetic to Him. Nor do I believe that all the bad stuff that happens is "part of His plan" (I hate it when people say that. Like God planned on the awful shootings that happened this week. That sound you heard was my BS meter going through the roof)

I guess it's my job, as someone who claims to follow Christ, to show others (especially my friend)that religion isn't the same thing as faith. Religion is taught, faith is learned. Religion is of the brain, faith is of the heart. Religion tries to make sense out of everything, faith accepts that nothing makes sense except God and even HE doesn't make sense to us. (I'd like to think that believers and non-believers can agree on that last point)

In the next post, I'll explain why, despite the fact I believe that "organized religion" is a misnomer, I still need church. And hopefully, if you don't believe you need church, maybe a light will go on in your heart. Or at the very least, a spark will have been lit.

In Him and around the corner (and resisting the urge to check out Facebook one more time before going to bed),

Al

Music-making

Can't believe I left out one of THE highlights of the last two weeks and of the entire 39th-birth-day-it's-REALLY-all-about-ME weekend: I got to make music with my next-door neighbor Mark. We spent an entire Sunday afternoon at his house just running through old hymns, songs he's written, and other assorted jams (for anyone who likes Blue Note jazz, we trampled through Grant Green's version of "Joshua Fit de Battle of Jericho" from Feelin' the Spirit, as spiritual a jazz record or any record for that matter. What was so cool was that we played it pretty close to the record, despite the fact that Mark had never heard this particular version!!!)

We rocked out on "I Love to Tell the Story" (probably my favorite hymn) and other tunes from the old Lutheran "green book;" "Holy Holy Lord" and "You Are So Wonderful," both written by Mark and available as free downloads at his website www.markandrewpope.com, and both of them a bunch of fun to play! We also listened to other songs and then his son (who's 20 months old) came in and did some "guest vocals" (i.e. he sat on daddy's lap, babbled into the microphone, and laughed the kind of laugh only a toddler can do, the kind that us grown-ups wonder why/how we ever forgot to laugh like that) which made me wish I'd had my camera going.

Talk about making a joyful noise unto the Lord! Here's hoping there will be more opportunities to do so. So, thank you Lord for the gift of music and for Mark, someone with whom you allow me to share that gift.

In Him and around the corner (and still feelin' the spirit),

Al

Emphasize THIS

Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge (Psalm 51:4).

The same passage with one word highlighted:

Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge

Now, that's the way we normally read it: that we would find out that God is a just and loving God. However, in my four-hour-sleep-deprived state this morning, I inadvertently emphasized a different word:

Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight --
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge

God speaks, and I am found. God speaks, and He finds me. Or you. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Lord, please speak to me and find me. Not on my terms, but on yours.

In Him and around the corner (and out in the open),

Al

PS: The ducks are back!!! Folks in my neighborhood might know who I'm talking about. There's these two ducks, a mallard and.... a brown one. Last spring, they walked all over the neighborhood, like an old couple out for an evening stroll. For some reason, they loved our street and were constantly camping out in front of our neighbor's houses and sometimes my house. I guess this is how we tell when spring has returned around here!

Two weeks notice

Hope you got your coffee (or whatever caffeinated beverage) ready, this one's a long one.

In between the last time I wrote and this time, the following took place:

-Became an official WARM Place Facilitator and learned another lesson about God's will versus my own. I wanted to be placed in a group for kids grieving the death of a parent or sibling. Instead, I got assigned to a group for kids grieving the death of a grandparent and/or other extended family members. At first I was disappointed; this wasn't what I wanted. Then, in not so many blunt terms, God had a way of saying, "So I should assign those other folks in your class (you know, the ones who have ACTUALLY LOST A PARENT OR SIBLING) to the 'grandparent group,' so you can work with kids who've lost parents or siblings (despite the fact that you have lost NEITHER, but you HAVE lost your grandparents, one of whom you were extremely close to). Yeah, explain THAT one to me." I don't always understand how/why God works, but I do appreciate his bluntness.

-Turned 39 and had THE best birthday party ever. It caused me to think of a variation on the Ash Wednesday proclamation: "Remember that you are loved, and to Love you shall return." I hope all of you will carry that in your heart as well.

-While turning 39 isn't such a big deal (the first of many, I hope), it did cause me to reflect on the past 20 years. My daughter is 22; she is now the age I was when I asked her mother to marry me. Even THAT one caught Cyndy by surprise. Some cousins of mine will have been married for 20 years this June. We had a family reunion in August of '89, and my sister and I played with young cousins who are now in their 20's, maybe married, maybe have kids, who knows? I bought my first bass that summer, and I still have it. The funny thing is, I don't feel any different now than I did 20 years ago. I thank the kids for that; they keep me young. Or, at least, feeling young.

-On the same day I turned 39, a good friend of mine had her baby boy. The mom is maybe a couple years older than me, and the only reason I say that is because she's like the older sibling I never had.

-Learned that cancer had claimed yet another victim this week. I've lost count. I haven't lost heart, though. (Yeah, I know, big deal, yay for me, it's all about me, remember?). Note to self: tell the grandparents about The WARM Place for their grandson. And while I'm at it, keep in your prayers these two girls who lost their mom about a year ago (also to cancer). Their dad is not dealing well with the loss, and has gone completely caveman-ninja on them, borderline abuse. He refuses to let them seek grief counseling. The oldest girl even brags about how she didn't cry at her mom's funeral. The two girls are 14 and 7. I've taught the 7-year-old in Sunday School a couple of times, and she's a wonderful child, so it breaks my heart to hear about her situation.

-Made an appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist to deal with various issues, mostly anger and the fact that I've been taking EVERYTHING personally lately and lashing out at every chance I get. For whatever it's worth (and this is just for future reference, so future AL, when you read this and ask why you thought anyone would give a rat's you-know-what about what kind of drugs you were on, hopefully it will be to see how far you've come), I am on four different meds to combat various anxieties, depression, self-loathing, and other scattered neuroses. I was supposed to seek a therapist when I started back on my meds about three years ago. I have had little to no success with psychiatrists and therapists, but the fact that two different people, completely unrelated and in completely different contexts, asked me the same question ("Where do you go to deal with your anger?") and the fact that even Nathan notices when I'm angry eben though I don't feel angry, finally pushed me to make that call. Again, God's will versus my own, and yet another small revelation of why He sent me to the WARM Place, because it was through the training that I found the doctor I eventually called. Hopefully, this one works. Please pray for me.

-Took Cyndy and Nathan to Austin visit UT and the big open house known as "Explore UT." Had the time of our lives, exploring the campus, checking out the different departments, and then marching with the band from the practice field to the UT tower, where a big group picture was taken which will be posted on the UT website in a couple of days.

-While all that was going on, I was seized by a number of bittersweet moments: realizing that Nathan is five years away from going to UT; remembering how hard it was to move my sister down there; walking through some of the same areas we walked through when we moved her down there and thinking "This is only five years away." Even driving home from Austin today, I had a lump in my throat thinking about Nathan moving out. Five years may seem like a long time, but 13 years sure went by pretty quickly. Heck, for that matter, THIRTY-NINE years went by rather quickly.

My apologies for the big lag between posts. Now that we're up to speed, I can go back to posting the usual nonsense and meanderings.

In Him and around the corner (and convinced that Daylight Savings Time is the work of Satan),

Al

Reflections of a friend

The following was written by my friend Mark Pope (here's his website: http://www.markandrewpope.com, where you can read the following and other enlightening and inspirational thoughts; check out his songs and music; and listen to podcasts featuring him and his friend Aron discussing a lot of things that usually make me go "AMEN!"). This spoke to me in ways I thought unfathomable. I'm sharing it with y'all in the hopes that it speaks to you in much the same way. Happy reading!

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Revision...

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been going back through some old music and revising it and editing it to try to get it out to people. The problem is that I’ve found that the older the song, the harder it is for me to revise. I’ve been looking at music that is maybe 15 years old. I don’t know that it was all that great to begin with, but even as I look at it again after all of these years, I find myself reluctant to change a note or rhythm. There’s something about those tunes, melodies and harmonies that just get ingrained into my head. When I start to revise, I feel like I’m just chopping up ideas and confusing the form, etc... But, the truth is, that at the end of the process, I usually find a better piece of music in place of the old. Also, I find that I’ve been much more conservative in my revision than I thought I was at the time that I was revising. Changes that I thought were HUGE sometimes make very little difference to the overall feel or sound of a piece of music.

But, as I sit and do this day after day, I start to realize that I approach a lot of things in my life like this. There are habits and traits that have been around for a very long time. As far as I’m concerned, they are just on the shelf and part of who I am. But, in times of crisis or when I can feel ol’ Satan creeping in, I have to re-examine who I am. And, I see the old me and realize that I need to revise. Sometimes, I need some serious revision, actually.

So, I set on revising - through prayer and scripture and help from my spouse and friends... and I think that I’m making huge strides. But, sometimes my revisions don’t make a big difference in my overall person. And, unlike my music, when I make self-revisions, those revisions can slowly work their way back to the original. One step forward... ______ steps back. Ever felt that way?

Here’s the lesson that I have to learn over and over and over.... I can rely on scripture, prayer and just about who or whatever else I want to, but God is the Master Revisor. Until I give my life to Him and allow God to be the Editor in Chief of my life, all of my self-help and self-evaluation is like the tiny revisions that I make to some of my old music. It is still my old music - just all polished up. That’s the best I can do for myself. I can take my old self and polish it up. Make it look good on the outside - and feel good, for a short while, on the inside. But only God does complete overhauls.

I just pray that God writes a new symphony with my life. Not to take all of the old material and patch it together differently - but to constantly make me new through Jesus - to continually renew, refresh and strengthen me in His Word.

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Amen, brother, and thanks for letting me share it here.

In Him and around the corner (and thanking God for such groovy neighbors),
Al

On companionship...

This past Sunday was Transfiguration Sunday. The Gospel reading was from the ninth chapter of Mark, where Jesus takes Peter, James, & John up a mountain and is transfigured before their eyes.

Ever wonder why Jesus took these particular disciples with Him? Times like this make me wish the Bible had recorded the conversations that took place during this walk up and down the mountain:

"Hey guys, y'wanna go for a walk with me?"
"Sure, why not!"

And off they go. I wonder if Jesus told them to get ready to see something spectacular. You gotta figure it was a pretty long walk; wonder what they talked about? Of course, being guys, they might not have said anything!

Then, once they're up there, how long were they up there? A few minutes? A half hour? When Jesus was transfigured, and Elijah and Moses showed up, Peter asked if they should build three shelters. Were they running around trying to find tools, supplies, wood, etc? And then they hear the voice of God and it's all over.

And Jesus looks at them and says, "Well, shall we head back?" You can imagine how stunned the disciples looked! And then, to top it all off, Jesus says "Don't mention any of this to anyone when we get back!" HUH??? Who can keep a secret like that? Thankfully, the Bible does indicate that the four of them talked a lot on the way back.

But getting back to my original curiosity: why did Jesus take these guys with him? Certainly not to prove anything to them; they were his closest friends. Perhaps to prepare them for things to come. But I have to wonder if Jesus just wanted someone to go with Him? If you've got a long journey ahead, don't you want some companionship? The road is a lot less lonely when there's more than one.

I like having people around; I love having my friends around. Why wouldn't Jesus also feel the same way?

Thank you Jesus for being my friend and for showing me what a true friend is and how a true friend acts.

In Him and around the corner (and trying to figure out a way to write BEFORE midnight),

Al

Another look in the mirror (it still ain't pretty)

We've lived in this house for over eight years now. We've slowly gotten to know our neighbors over the years, but the sad fact is that some of them have lived here longer than we have and I've only taken the time to get to know them over the last few months.

We have this one lady on our street who is a talker. Sweet, sweet lady. But she's a talker. The first day we were here, I was in a hurry to get Amanda to a volleyball game and Janet came running over to our car to introduce herself. When we were leaving, we had a half-hour before the game started with about a ten minute drive ahead of us. We hardly said a word and we were still fifteen minutes late! Of course, we learned a lot about Janet and the history of the neighborhood that day. Unfortunately, we let that scar us into avoiding her, and over the years, the only time I've talked to her is if she happens to see me. Sure enough, I (or anyone else in my family) woulde be stuck for at least a half-hour, and even then the only way the conversation would end would be for me to say "Bye" at least five times and keep walking.

I apologize for the blunt tone; to try and put any of that nicely would be an insult to Janet and a lie to God and y'all because there was absolutely nothing nice about the way I've acted these last eight years.

However, the Lord gave me a view from the other end of that mirror recently. Lately, I've been a pest to people, and not in the good way I wrote about earlier (meaning when I get together with people, I always end up doing most-if-not-all of the talking, and barely letting anyone else get a word in edgewise). I started thinking about Janet and how I was pretty much getting a taste of my own medicine.

I'm having a neighborhood campfire next Friday night and have all the invitations delivered except one (Jake, I'm gonna get yours to you this weekend, I promise! You guys are definitely invited!). I approached Janet's house with no small amount of trepidation, but I wanted to show God that the lesson He tried to teach me was not in vain.

Sure enough, Janet answered the door and off she went! Let me tell you right now about what a wonderful feeling it was to stand there, listen, maybe say a few words every now and then, and above all to GET OVER MYSELF. I mean, I still had to end the conversation (had to get home, make dinner, get back up to work for a few hours); but not once did I wish I wasn't right there talking/listening (actually, more listening than talking, but then I need that. A LOT!)

God, thank you for being patient with me, for giving me a second chance, and for allowing me to see You in yet another unlikely place. Thank you for forgiving me, because I sure need it for this one and deserve it even less than I usually deserve Your forgiveness (which is to say, not at all).

In Him and around the corner (and all ears),

Al